Nugget
27th January 2003, 10:48 PM
AUDI:
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Another Uninformed Driver Insulted
All Unnecessary Devices Installed
BMW:
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Bimbette Motor Weapon
Break My Window
Big Man Wannabe
Big Money Wasted
Broken Money Waster
BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Import Car Killer
CADILLAC:
Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
Car Has Earnhardt Victorious Racing Or Lapping Every Track
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHRYSLER:
Can't Have Refund, You're Stuck Leasing Edsel's Replacement
DODGE:
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
FIAT:
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
Fix it again tomorrow
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD:
Frigin Old Rebuilt Dodge
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of Research and Development
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
Found On Russian Dump
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
Ford backwards: Drivers returning on foot.
Forward Only, Reverse Defective
Fast On Repair Demands
Fucked On Race Day
GEO:
Good Engineering Overlooked
GM:
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garage Me
GMC:
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Got More Crap
HOLDEN:
Hairy Old Ladies Driving Everyone Nuts
HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI:
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
JEEP:
Junk Engineered, Executed Poorly
KIA:
Kick It Again
Kick Inventors Ass
Korean Intelligence Absent
LINCOLN:
Lousy Implementation, Not Cars Of Luxurious Nature
MAZDA:
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Made After Zero Design Analysis
MERCEDES:
Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales
MERCURY:
Many Endless Rattles Create Uncomfortable Road Yacht.
MOPAR:
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Mostly Old Paint And Rust
OLDSMOBILE:
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly
Late Everywhere
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular
Leftover Equipment
Old Ladies Drive Slow-Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
PLYMOUTH:
Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, All Underestimating This Heap
PONTIAC:
Poor Old Nick Thinks It's A Cadillac
PORSCHE:
Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything
SAAB:
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
Sad Attempt At Beauty
SATURN:
Sad Attempt To Unload Recycled Nissans
STEALTH:
Speed Trap Equipment Aims Low, Targets Hood
SUBARU:
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Too Often Yuppies Overaccessorize This Auto
TRIUMPH:
The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
VOLVO:
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW:
Virtually Worthless
YUGO:
Yearly undergoes garage operations
You'll utter "greatly overpriced"
GOT ANY MORE PUT THEM UP
Always Unsafe Designs Implemented
Another Uninformed Driver Insulted
All Unnecessary Devices Installed
BMW:
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Bimbette Motor Weapon
Break My Window
Big Man Wannabe
Big Money Wasted
Broken Money Waster
BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Import Car Killer
CADILLAC:
Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars
CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips
Car Has Earnhardt Victorious Racing Or Lapping Every Track
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHRYSLER:
Can't Have Refund, You're Stuck Leasing Edsel's Replacement
DODGE:
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
FIAT:
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix it again, Tony!
Fix it again tomorrow
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD:
Frigin Old Rebuilt Dodge
First On Recall Day
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road, Dead
Fault Of Research and Development
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
Features O.J. and Ron's DNA
Found On Russian Dump
Fraternal Order of Restored DeSoto's
Ford backwards: Drivers returning on foot.
Forward Only, Reverse Defective
Fast On Repair Demands
Fucked On Race Day
GEO:
Good Engineering Overlooked
GM:
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garage Me
GMC:
Garage Man's Companion
Got A Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Got More Crap
HOLDEN:
Hairy Old Ladies Driving Everyone Nuts
HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI:
Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive...
JEEP:
Junk Engineered, Executed Poorly
KIA:
Kick It Again
Kick Inventors Ass
Korean Intelligence Absent
LINCOLN:
Lousy Implementation, Not Cars Of Luxurious Nature
MAZDA:
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
Made After Zero Design Analysis
MERCEDES:
Many Expensive Repairs Can Eventually Discourage Extra Sales
MERCURY:
Many Endless Rattles Create Uncomfortable Road Yacht.
MOPAR:
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Mostly Old Paint And Rust
OLDSMOBILE:
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly
Late Everywhere
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular
Leftover Equipment
Old Ladies Drive Slow-Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie
PLYMOUTH:
Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, All Underestimating This Heap
PONTIAC:
Poor Old Nick Thinks It's A Cadillac
PORSCHE:
Proof Only Rich Suckers Can Have Everything
SAAB:
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.
Sad Attempt At Beauty
SATURN:
Sad Attempt To Unload Recycled Nissans
STEALTH:
Speed Trap Equipment Aims Low, Targets Hood
SUBARU:
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Too Often Yuppies Overaccessorize This Auto
TRIUMPH:
The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays Heavily
VOLVO:
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW:
Virtually Worthless
YUGO:
Yearly undergoes garage operations
You'll utter "greatly overpriced"
GOT ANY MORE PUT THEM UP